This year was filled with so many different things. Grief. Frustration. Anger. Stress. Anxiety. But there were also other things. Good things. Joy. Peace. Excitement. Anticipation. Dreams becoming reality.
Looking back on all the chaos, I see Jesus. Not just the Jesus I’ve been told about. The true reality of who He is.
His patience became real to me. It’s something I’ve personally experienced. There was never a slap on the wrist for my questions, my doubts, my fears. Just a gentle leading and lots of love. Like a shepherd guiding his sheep.
His faithfulness is no longer just a worship song or words on a page. It’s a reality to me now. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life, always wondering if it was something I would battle forever. But I’ve realized freedom doesn’t usually come in the way you expect. It’s slow and steady. It’s the constant faithfulness of Jesus. Day after day. Victory after victory. You pick up your head one day, and all of a sudden are able to see where you were and where you are.
In this new year, new decade, I want more of Jesus. And I don’t say that in the broad sense of the phrase that is sometimes implied. I want EXPERIENCE more of who He is. I don’t want to just know who He is. I want who He is to be a reality for me. Just like His patience. Just like His faithfulness. I want to know all of Him.
